t’s that time of the year again.  The air is turning cooler.  The wind is a bit nippier.  From the distance comes a familiar APB (All Points Bulletin)!  On the television screen I could swear I see the a caption streaming across the screen which reads:  “Beware!  Patrice is tree shopping again!”  Of course, things are all very clandestine as usual.  The weekend is a quiet one and I haven’t heard from my sister in quite a while.  I call her at home and then on her cell phone.  She finally answers the phone, but isn’t wasting her valuable time on too much conversation.  Finally, it hits me and I asked, “What are you doing?”  In a hushed and serious voice she responds, “I bought a tree!” I could just picture her glancing from side-to-side as she said this.  “You did!” I exclaim, very excited.  “What kind?”  “You know what kind!  My usual!  A Nobel Fir!”  “Aaah! Yes!”  I affirm.  “Well,” I continue, “What kind of decorations are you putting on your tree this year?”  After all, inquiring minds really do want to know!  I might want to copy her!  There is another hush.  I could tell that she was debating whether or not this was classified information.  She knows that among the few natural gifts that I possess, one of them is the gift of gab.  She never wants anyone to even have a hint of what her tree is going to look like ahead of time.  Just image how angry she will be when she finds out that I’m writing this article!  Never mind that, though!  I’m just sharing this with you, no one else.

Finally, after a little prodding my sister reveals that this year’s theme will be copper, gold, and green balls.  “Really?” I ask incredulously.  I was thinking that it sounds like a weird color scheme.  “Dark  green balls?” I inquire.  “No,” she responds impatiently, “light green balls.”  “Oh.”  She mentions something about flowers, or was it butterflies, or maybe even snowflakes.  Truthfully, I can’t remember.  All I know is that once again, her tree will prove to be one of the prettiest, fattest, and most unique looking trees ever.  Even though my daughter, Amber, and I will decorate our tree this week, using our usual Victorian/eclectic style ornaments, our tree simply won’t compare to that of “Master Tree Trimmer, Patrice.” 

After all, we didn’t climb any mountain to reach our dream tree.  We didn’t wade through a sea of people to find the most unique ornaments.  We didn’t even lie awake at night trying to think of a special color scheme or theme.  No, we just ran over to my parent’s house, picked up an artificial tree with the lights already intact, and we will decorate it with last year’s balls.  They won’t be green.  As we speak, the tree is lying between my dining room and my living room.  The room is really too small to hold a 7-foot tree.  But, we are going to make it work.  I tried willing the tree to decorate itself, but that didn't work.  I tried twitching my nose like “Bewitch,” but that didn’t work.  So, now, one night, after a large glass of raspberry ice tea, I will find the energy to get up and decorate the tree myself.  Well, I shouldn’t say that I’ll decorate the tree by myself, because as always, Amber will help me for about ten minutes before running out to play with friends.  I don’t care.  All of the mystery and all of the madness is what makes our holiday memories special.  We’ll have a decorated tree despite ourselves; and, to us, it will be the most beautiful tree in the world!